A memoir of healing, transformation, and finding light in the darkest corners of the soul. Through dreams, poetry, and raw honesty, this is a journey of reclaiming the self from the shadows of childhood trauma.
Chronic depression lapped at my heels and clamped me in its vise for years.
I remembered the deepening sadness when I was a 6 year old child living in Taipei, Taiwan. I sensed the frequent self-isolation as a 10 year old living in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. I recalled the increasing and breeding rage as I entered adolescence in upstate New York when my mother first brought us to the United States.
In my 20s, I was living more in the Abyss that was Depression than out of it, only I had no idea the Abyss had a name.
Every day I dreaded waking up to the constant psychic pain that I still had not gotten used to. Then I dreaded getting through the day wondering about the point of continuing life. Then I dreaded going to sleep because I would wake up the next day, the same mental tapes playing again.
When I got married in 1998, I was determined to get help. I didn't want this Abyss "screwing up" my new marriage the way it had harmed past relationships… the way this Abyss made me harm myself.
All of this has been an awakening to this Sacred Life.
All of this has been a spiritual quest to reclaim the Self.
All of this has been a journey back to The Youngest Light.